How to Survive the Hospital Waiting Room

Updated 4/3/23

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A hospital waiting room is always a difficult place. One hour in the hospital is like a full day anyplace else. I jotted this down on a piece of paper when a family member was in the intensive care unit for over a month.

For many years I have spoken with families camped out in the waiting rooms of hospitals, surrounded by blankets, empty drink containers and a mixture of stale odors. At times it looks like a war zone. When it was my turn to reside in the hospital waiting room, I made the decision not to do the &#;vigil&#; nor to set up shop in the hospital, but to design a strategy that would allow my son and me to be fresh and alert enough to make the important decisions that could arise at any moment.

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The Vigil

A vigil is a ritual where the person keeps a watch, waiting expectantly for something to happen. I see it all the time: exhausted families trying to sleep in small, cramped chairs. Families may do this for a variety of reasons. Many people believe it is what they should do or else family, friends and nurses will think badly of them if they don&#;t stay at the hospital the entire time. Others worry that their loved one will take a turn for the worse or die when they&#;re not around. For some people, guilt bites at their heels, such as a son or daughter who has not spoken to their mother in seven years and needs their loved one to get better.

Hospital Waiting Room Survival Tips

1. Rest someplace else. If you can&#;t go home to sleep or rest, set up a base of operations at a nearby hotel or motel. You can negotiate a reasonable rate with a local hotel and find a room with a sitting area, kitchenette and lots of light. Speak with the case manager at the hospital to obtain a list of hotels and places that will offer you a reduced &#;hospital rate.&#; Clean clothes will make you feel better, so make sure that you have a place to do your laundry.
2. Take Breaks. Families frequently worry that if they leave the hospital, something awful will happen when they are not there. You need to come to peace with that possibility and take breaks. Give yourself permission to get out of the hospital. The first two days, my son and I ate all of our meals in the hospital &#; then decided that was enough. From then on, we ate out, and anticipated dessert as a highlight of every day. It worked out well, and we bought pies for the entire ICU staff.
3. Exercise. When you look for a hotel, make sure it has a workout room or ask if the hospital has one. If that is not your cup of tea, then take walks. Exercise will give you time to work out some of your feelings and raise your endorphins, the feel-good chemicals. You also may feel better about the extra desserts.
4. In the room. Hospitals have gotten much better about allowing families to stay in the room for extended periods of time. But what are you supposed to do while you&#;re in there? I found myself staring at the all the squiggles on the monitors. Even though I knew what they meant, I was using it as mindless activity to pass the time. There isn&#;t a great deal to do in the room, and as the number of visitors increases, the noise level goes up. The visitors in the room end up having conversations that should take place elsewhere. If the patient is awake this can be very annoying and make it difficult for them to concentrate. Control the noise!
5. Realistic Optimism. People mean well when they say, &#;It will be OK,&#; but that doesn&#;t really help you deal with your emotions. In fact, it only makes it worse. Having a critically ill loved one is like riding a roller coaster. One-minute optimism fills the room, only to be sucked out by the inevitable bump in the road. After optimistic mornings patients may do worse in the evenings. Try to adopt an attitude of realistic optimism. Ask the doctors what they believe are the realistic chances of recovery and what types of problems may lie ahead. The fewer surprises, the easier it is to deal with the illness.
6. Communication. You will quickly find out that you cannot talk and communicate with everyone. First, establish who will communicate with the doctors. If you have a large family, designate one or two people who will be the &#;point people&#; to deal with the physicians. You can then decide how you will disseminate information to friends and family. Some families decide to sign up for Caring Bridge, which allows you to post information and other people can leave messages. Some may feel that it is a bit too &#;public&#; and divide the groups (family, friends, and work) they need to communicate with amongst a small number and send updates to those you feel have a &#;need to know.&#; Every family is different, but you will need to control the barrage of intrusive calls and inquiries

I suggest that you go ahead and flag this article or file it in your personal file. You may not need it now, but almost no one escapes the stress of watching and waiting in a hospital waiting room while a loved one struggles with a serious illness.

The content of this site is for informational purposes only and should not be taken as professional medical advice. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified healthcare provider with any questions you may have regarding any medical conditions or treatments.

Hospitals are the pits. Unless someone is having a baby, you typically find yourself in a hospital waiting room because of an illness, accident or surgery; not anyone&#;s idea of fun. Hospital waiting rooms are even worse. Or are they? If you find yourself playing the waiting game, here are some wildly productive ways to kill some time. Once you&#;ve implemented them, you might just want to kick back and stay awhile.

1. Count ceiling tiles. If the room you are in does not have ceiling tiles, relocate to a room that does. All you&#;ve got is time, right? {We do not condone looking for ceiling tiles in strictly off-limit rooms. Those rooms can be found by paying attention to the STAY OUT or AUTHORIZED PERSONNEL ONLY signs. Wouldn&#;t want you wandering into a sterile OR and getting sued or anything}. *My lawyer made me say that.

2. Drink stale coffee.

3. Wander to the vending machine. Look at each item and try to estimate how many laps you&#;d have to walk around the waiting room to burn off the calories in that particular treat. Buy a Kit Kat and then do walking lunges back to the waiting room, figuring that should suffice.

4. Speaking of lunges, walk some hospital laps. Get some exercise and maybe even challenge your brain. Most floors are like intricate confusing mazes, so it&#;s like the hospital wants to play a game with you. No need for a corn maze to get lost in when you have the Peds floor.

5. Host a Hospital Art Scavenger Hunt. You can even get some of the other waiting room patrons involved. Divide into teams. See who can find the calming ocean print first? Who will rapidly spot the glowing sunset pic? Who will be the lucky one to spot the vase of flowers before anyone else? Award prizes from the vending machine.

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6. Drink stale coffee.

7. Read all the things. The entire book you brought. The day old newspaper on the coffee table. Every sign in the vicinity&#;even the fine print. The 6-month-old copy of Sports Illustrated. Might be the first time you&#;ve ever picked up a copy of Sports Illustrated, but that&#;s what hospital waiting rooms encourage you to do: try new things. Branch out of your comfort zone.

8. Give up on Sports Illustrated and head down to the overpriced gift shop to buy a new book. Leave with a beanie baby collection and a glass Precious Moments figurine.

9. Play the Alphabet Game. You&#;re in the only place on earth you can easily get &#;X&#; so you&#;ve got to take advantage of it. Those X-ray signs are everywhere.

10. Drink stale coffee.

11. Search for a bathroom. Get lost while searching and realize that the jokester hospital wasn&#;t done playing after all.

12. Take a few joyrides up and down the elevator. Prep the newbies riding with you before they head into the hospital. You&#;re the pro now. Show them around. Tell &#;em where all the good candy machines are located. Share all your insider info with them. Be the hero.

13. Drift into a fitful sleep across the rock hard seats you&#;ve scooted together into a &#;bed.&#; Wake up to your handy dandy copy of Sports Illustrated stuck to your face. You now have an inky image of some guy named Rob Gronkowski plastered across your cheek. Rub the sleep from your eyes and head to the vending machine for breakfast.

Hospitals are awesome. Who knew?

~Mavis

For those of you who have asked or sent emails asking about my brother; he has stage 4 colon cancer and all I have to say about that is&#; it sucks. Cancer sucks. &#;

Be thankful you are healthy. Do something nice for someone. You have no idea what the person standing next to you in the checkout line or at work is going through. 

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